What boggles my mind is that no matter how many days I haven't smoked, nicotine will still try to play games with my mind to persuade me. It doesn't let go for a very long time. Sadly, that's the reality of it all. It isn't just simply putting that last cigarette out and enjoying your life worry-free forever from that moment on. There are a lot of things to deal with.
I have an upcoming birthday party to go to this weekend. I haven't smoked for a very long time. I also haven't seen some of my friends for a very long time, either, so I know I'll be correlating seeing them with smoking, because in the past, that's what I did around them.
At the end of the day, it wants me to dwell on the situation. It wants me to think negative thoughts. It wants me to worry about how many drinks I can have without slipping. It wants me to only think about lighting up, and nothing else. Sadly, it's working.
It's hard to change your mindset once the negative thoughts have clouded over. But, that's exactly what I need to do.
Do I want to throw away all the previous days I haven't smoked, simply to take a few drags during a party this upcoming weekend? Is it worth it? Is it worth going through all the physical symptoms all over again, dealing with anxiety attacks, depression, and lack of self-esteem all over again on Day 1? Absolutely not!
If this party wasn't coming up, I wouldn't be dwelling on such thoughts. But because it's important to be there, I am. But what's important is staying true to who I am and who I want to be and how I want others to perceive me.
This is the new me. The old me was a smoker.
I need to go to that party with the mindset of telling others how great my life has become, because that is the actual reality of it all. My life HAS become phenomenal. It isn't always dwelling on parties and situations and thinking bad thoughts. This is just one of those moments when nicotine tries to strike back during a potential vulnerable moment. That's all it is.
To waste all I've accomplished for a few drags is just ridiculous, and yet that's what it wants me to do. But I'm going to make it. I'm going to arrive at that party, full of vigor, full of life, and ready to be the person I have always dreamed of being, only this time tobacoo-free.
Don't let nicotine try and change your mindset when an important event arrives. Don't let the mind games take control. Turn everything around towards the positive and destroy those bad thoughts. You will win in the end if you go into it with a positive frame of mind.
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