ABOUT ME
Hello, my name is Matt, and I was a smoker for 17 years. I smoked a "pack a day" about 10 of those years, and on a constant basis. I'm 34 now, which means I started around the age of 17. I was a Junior in high school. Before that moment, I never thought about cigarettes. After that moment, they consumed my life.
This is my story:
I started smoking because of peer pressure. It was cool to smoke, mainly because I wasn't 18 yet, so it was illegal. Doing illegal things were always more fun to do, especially at that age. Plus there was always that "new factor" which played a role in my youth. You have to try everything once, right? My parents smoked, people on TV smoked, and it was glamorized in the movies. Peer pressure was a huge issue, and continues to this day as a strong force behind the things I do. Here's why I quit smoking.
I stole a pack of cigarettes from a department store in my town. In those years they were within reach of anyone, even children! You could easily snag a pack and put it in your pocket, and that's exactly what I did. I wanted to try them out.
Later on that night, after my parents went to bed, I snuck outside and went behind my shed. I took a cigarette out and lit it and IMMEDIATELY coughed. It was terrible! The bitterness went away after a little bit and I took another drag.
Then it hit me. It REALLY hit me.
I was so dizzy and high I stumbled into the backyard, falling all over the place. It was a great feeling, I won't lie to you. I enjoyed it, I really did. It was totally a new experience. The next day I woke up a different person. From that day forward I had to have one cigarette a day, just to experience that same feeling again.
But one cigarette a day turned into two and then three and so forth. This is mainly because I was beginning my "party stage" during late high school. I never really did learn to use a substance, and not smoke. Smoking came first.
I'd say I was smoking five cigarettes per day by the time I graduated high school in 1996, and that includes the time spent going to track practice, cross-country practice, and living at home. Almost all my friends smoked, too, at this time.
As I said before, it was cool to smoke. It didn't really affect me, either. I wasn't coughing, or wheezing, or having trouble sleeping. At that time, I was fine. It wouldn't last long, though.
By the time I turned that monumental age of 21, I was up to a half a pack a day. I enjoyed them. They were my lifeblood. However, they decided how long I stayed out. They controlled my life and told me what to do. Sound familiar?
If I was planning on going to some huge event, like camping or a concert, I would stock up on cigarettes. I'd buy two or three packs at a time, all different kinds, both regular and menthol. I smoked in my car, in my apartment, around my parents, and in any public place. I was definitely addicted.
But I didn't really care because I was way too young to think about quitting. Everyone around me still smoked, and I was still going out every weekend. I knew they were horrible for me, but I liked smoking. I woke up with crap in my lungs, though, and I had a constant cough. Deep down I knew what was going on. Smoking was ruining my lungs.
I don't believe someone in the mindset of going out every weekend is ready to quit just yet. There is some growing up to do first.
So, as we all got older, one by one, my friends began to quit. But, I didn't. I tried, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't understand how some of them quit so easily on their first try. Were they just strong-willed? No. They weren't as addicted to nicotine as I was. They weren't "pack a day" smokers like I was. That's what it boils down to. I still envied them, though.
But, at the end of the day, I was still the party guy going out to the bars every weekend. I was not in the correct mindset at all. Quitting was always a thought in the back of my mind, but realistically? No, I was not ready to quit.
More about my life as a smoker.
